Kids ask so many questions! They are question machines! My 10 year old son wanted to know why we got up so early, why we chose that airline, when we would get there, what things meant in the books we were reading, how they got the jelly filling in the donuts, and on…. and on…. and on…. For four days!! Even my friend who drove us to the airport told my wife later that he asks a lot of questions, even at 6 am! Anyway, you get the point.

I found myself repeatedly saying what thousands of you have said many times yourself, I’m sure:

Stop asking so many questions!

And then it hit me: This is why so many people lose their ability to achieve success. We tell them to stop asking so many questions. That’s right, we methodically strip our children of their innate inquisitiveness. And then when they get older we wonder why they don’t think for themselves! We told them to stop asking questions! They were born with a desire to understand the world around them and we, because of our frustration with the process, tell them to stop asking questions. What happens when you tell someone repeatedly to stop asking questions? They stop asking questions. It is a classic example of negative feedback and association. The chances are high that it happened to you to some degree.

But being inquisitive is inherent to long-term success. We must constantly be asking questions of others and ourselves. We must relentlessly be questioning processes that we use. We must always question whether or not products can be improved. Questioning is what produces new answers, which leads us to forge new ground.

Where does that leave us? Recommit yourself to asking lots of questions. Start by going through the basics: Who, what, when, where, why and how. Except, put “why” at the front of the list. Why? Because “why” gets behind the scenes even more so that the other questions do. “Why” deals with more than facts; it deals with motives and reasons. “Why” can be very enlightening.

After all, “Why” is about 80% of all of the questions that kids ask, and if anybody knows how to ask questions, it is kids. That is, if we let them.

So, as you live your life, let yourself ask lots of questions. Yes, people will wonder if you are a troublemaker, but you will know that you are pursuing enlightenment, knowledge, and the wisdom that will take you far beyond those who chose to live as others tell them life shall be lived!

Don’t stop asking so many questions, and if you have kids at home, don’t stop them either!


Reproduced with the kind permission of Chris Widener.

Only one team wins the Super Bowl.

For each player on the NY Giants going to Disney World after the game there is a player on the New England Patriots going home disappointed without the joy of victory.

It’s a lot like life.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

Sometimes we win the account, the game, the job promotion, the award and sometimes we lose the very thing we want most.

Winning matters. Losing matters. But in life what matters most is what we do with our wins and losses.

When we win do we become complacent or stay humble and hungry?

People often say that success breeds success but often it breeds complacency. After a win people think they can just show up and achieve the same result, forgetting the effort, determination and mindset it took to achieve the win.

To continue winning it’s essential to turn the euphoria of winning into a fire of burning desire that fuels your continuous improvement, passion, and quest for excellence.

Even more important than what we do after our wins is how we respond to our losses.

Do we give up or come back stronger?

Do we allow the loss to act like a cancer that eats away at us for the rest of our life or do we turn it into a learning opportunity that leads to our healthy growth?

I certainly know what it feels like to lose. I’ve lost many arguments with my wife. :) The Energy Bus was rejected by the first 30 publishers. As a sales person years ago I lost as many accounts as I won. I lost too many games as a Lacrosse player at Cornell and now I watch my children lose tennis matches and lacrosse games.

Everyone loses but the key is to make the loss stand for something and in my family LOSS now stands for:

LOSS (Learning Opportunity, Stay Strong)

When we lose we ask what we can learn from this loss and how we can improve because of it. Then we stay strong and work harder to come back and try to win.

This leads to more wins in the future…and also eventually more loses…and more learning opportunities and opportunities to stay strong and develop our character.

Through this process of winning and losing we learn the greatest lesson of all:

No matter how hard we work and how much we improve there will be times when we experience the worst of defeats instead of the greatest of victories. But ultimately life is about more than winning or losing. It’s about the lessons we learn, the character and strength we build and the people we become along the way.

Whether we win the Super Bowl or not, when we realize this we will surely be a winner in the game of life!


Reproduced with the kind permission of Jon Gordon, author of ‘The Energy Bus’